SIDEREAL CONTINUATIONS.

[begguiling]

This used to be an IC inbox (now found here) but it ended up mostly NSFW thread continuations instead and I decided I wanted those separate so!

Comments

[begguiling]

I like presents! Who doesn't?

Besides, of course I want to make you something again. I promise no ducks!

[strikingchords]

[there's no immediate reply

Magolor MIGHT or might not notice that in the intervening time the first several comments of this mess have played themselves out]

[begguiling]

[OF COURSE HE DOES, he always reads all of these posts, especially the threads where he can tell who the anon is or the ones he's involved in. Both are true in this case.]

But my real gift to you is not jumping into your conversation there.

[strikingchords]

[okay yeah that gets a response after a minute]

Do not.

[SOMEBODY'S UNHAPPY]

[begguiling]

I wouldn't really! But I won't say I wasn't tempted.

You all right over there?

[strikingchords]

[another pause]

[begguiling]

I see.

[strikingchords]

It is how he feels.

[begguiling]

Yes and no. People do say different things when they're anonymous than they would normally. Sometimes that means being more honest, but sometimes it's the opposite. I'm lying to at least two people in there right now. Not even for any bad reason!

Anyway.

[strikingchords]

Anyway?

[begguiling]

Anyway... how're you feeling?

[strikingchords]

Hard to say.
I had assumed incorrectly.

[begguiling]

About what?

Are you with him right now? You could come over or something. If you wanted!

[strikingchords]

Am not, but poor timing.

[after a while]

Had thought he had other reasons. And did not believe me resentful.

[begguiling]

I hope you aren't taking it personally. I can tell you that when people think things like that, it's not always about you or anything you've done.

[strikingchords]

[he's taking it personally]

How not? He spoke of me.

[begguiling]

Of course. But the way people see us isn't exactly how we are. It's about how they are too! If he believes you might resent him, it doesn't necessarily mean you're acting like you resent him. It might just mean he believes he deserves to be resented. And you're a smart, wonderful person he respects, so of course he'll believe you'd do what he thinks is the right thing to do. Even if that's resenting him.

If you're wondering how I know, this one is me!

[strikingchords]

[LONG FUCKING PAUSE]





I see.

[begguiling]

Good. He's that type of person, too. "I haven't done anything to deserve this!" That isn't really about us.

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji is typing...

typing...

typing...

typing...

typing...

typing...

typing...

typing...]

I did not consider.

[begguiling]

You're worried about not being good enough for him yourself, right?

[strikingchords]

[NO RESPONSE]

[begguiling]

That's not unexpected.

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji is typing...

Lan Wangji has stopped typing.

...

Lan Wangji is typing...]

Why do you say so?

[begguiling]

It's the way you've always been about him, since the day we met! You cherish his feelings like a precious gem. You take any small action you can think of to show him how you feel. But when it came to your own feelings, it was never the right time. You may have been right about that, but it's one thing to be right and another to be steadfast for so long. And now it's obvious how he is and how easily he misunderstands. You were so careful for so long about this because it was the most important thing in the world to you, and now that you have it, these things happen . . . so, of course you're uncertain if it was the right thing.